I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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