Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Im part way to drunk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
