Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How naked do you want me to be?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
