is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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