That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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