Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
