I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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