So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
