I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
