he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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