So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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