We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
