Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
