And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
