how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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