my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
