Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
