is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
