Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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