he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
