did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
