i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
