I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
