This girl is more easily done than said...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
