Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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