i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
