I feel like abortions should bother me more
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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