we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
