I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
