I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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