Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
