So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You ruined the universe
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
