He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize