He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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