I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
