Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
