its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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