We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
