I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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