yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
