My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
