I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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