My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
