Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
