Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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