so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
this is an emotional support booty call
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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