I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
