Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
