how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
