hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
