We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
