OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
