i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize