I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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