I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
God, I missed his penis.
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