Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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